"Remember the day we've met? You are so cool back then. You wear your favorite maroon shirt, along with those jeans that perfectly fit your leg. Your hair is still quite long, but it doesn't even make you look like a thug. You are so handsome that I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.".
I said while clinging to his right arm. Instead of a pillow, I love resting on his arms. It was broad and comfortable. It is full of his scent which I can't resist. Reminiscing the past is happiness for me, but it also makes me sad. I can clearly imagine the things that we've experience, the obstacles we've faced together, those problems we've solved. I can play all of them repeatedly on my head, but it's all that it is. Watching it is what's makes it lonesome, realizing that all the mistakes you've made will permanently carve on your identity, and it's already buried on the corner of your mind.
I looked up into his face and saw it smiling. The same lovely smile that gave me hope of all times. The same lips that cheering me up when I'm down and need comfort.
"You never change. Even if all things are already messed up, you still have that stupid face plastered on your face." I said to him, feeling angry with everything around me, including him.
How long am I lying here with his arms in my head? It's night, that I know. I get up and gather the courage I need to continue living. Yes, I need to continue breathing for him, for the sacrifice he made.
I look at his face one last time, memorizing every bit of it. I never expected that a hole this big would end his life. That something terrifying exists in this hopeless world. How unfair this planet wanted to be?
"Do you realize it now?" I heard someone said behind me.
His voice made my whole body frozen. The emotionless tone of it makes me want to cry. I thought he's already gone. I thought that he already leaves me alone.
"W-why? Aren't you satisfied with what you did to him?" I burst into tears, shouting at him.
His eyes show nothing. His lips stays. The same, looking irritatingly calm.
"You know me too long. You should realize by now that he doesn't matter. In my world, he isn't needed. It will also become your world, and you don't have a choice."
I still can't understand what he meant. I still don't know what he is trying to say. I just want to run away from him, run away on this place. But my legs say the opposite. He wanted to say, it is now out of my control.
"Just kill me. Kill me like you did to him, you monster."
Instead of being insulted, he laughs mockingly in front of me. He is slowly stepping forward near me, while chanting something I barely hear.
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