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Day 22 - Competing

"Are you ready for your turn?" He asked while giving me a very unfriendly look.

Oh god. He really annoys me. The way he acts, he speaks, he stares. It all irritates me. It felt like he's being force to communicate with me. If he doesn't want to, then don't. It's not like I care at all. And it's not his responsibility to ask me. We're team members, yes, but he's not really our captain. 

"I can handle myself. No need to ask me." I said while hinting my annoyance with him. 

I continue warming up and readying my body. The second the third racer of the medley jump off the diving board, I prepare myself to go. This is the last time I can race. The last chance I can swim with everyone. And I don't want to waste it. I'm not going to give a damn about exhaustion. I'm going to give it my all, that for sure. 

My focus was so intense that it seemed like everything around me became slow in motion. I can fully see the way the third racer tap his hand on the wall of the pool below me. And that was the queue for me to start. Contradicting the feelings I felt earlier, now seems to be very fast. Both my hands and feet move with the urge of winning, of ending it quickly than the others. My heart is beating like crazy. My breath is slowly fading. My body is going numb, but I don't care. There's not a thing that will weaken my will. Not a single thing. 

The moment I tried gasping for air, I saw him on the side of the pool with a very concerned look on me. What was the deal? It is the very first time I saw him like that. His expression is unfamiliar, unknown of, new. 

I heard the loud and excited voices of my teammates after I had finished my turn. Their faces show that I've won. After looking at the other contestants, I've realized that I was way too far from them, way too advance. And that made me really happy, really grateful. 

"You did a great job." He said while offering his hand to me. Hesitantly, I grabbed it and let myself out of the pool. 

"Thanks. You're creeping me." I frankly said to him. 

"What?" His face now shows a very shock look. While my other teammates are enjoying our victory, I'm standing here beside him not knowing what I should do and tell him. He's also just standing with hands on his pocket. 

"You know, you always have that strange look on your face. Like you're angry or something at me. And now, you're acting like you care. It's just not you." I said while staring at the swimmers who are now enjoying the pool since the competition is over. 

Silence come between us. Not one or two words came out on our mouth. Both of us are slowly sinking to the depth of solitude until he speaks his mind. 

"I'm not. I'm not angry at you or something you think your expression of me. Being something approachable is just not my thing. Well, not on the person I like, I think. This will be our last time meeting as a team mate. I hope we can continue meeting even as a friend. For now, I mean. I don't want to shock you or anything." He said while touching the front of his hair and pouting. His face is red, his cheeks blushing. 

I close my eyes and bury my face on the palm of my two hands. I'm also blushing, that I know. And I don't want him to see it. 

Earlier, I am annoyed at him. 

Now, it feels like all of the irritation I've felt was struck down by a lightning. 

All I'm feeling is the desire to know him more. It felt like all I know about him is just my delusional impression of what I only want, not what he really is. Maybe one day, someday, something unexpected will happen. We'll never know. I nod as a reply on his statement and I caught a glimpse of a smile on his lips. 

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